Should Your Parents Read Your Messages

Photo courtesy: Altlaw

Imagine texting a friend for hours to find out that your parents have taken a peek at all of your messages while you weren’t looking. This raises the question: is this a breach of privacy? While parental concerns for safety are valid, consistent invasion of privacy can damage trust and hinder personal growth.

Before the birth of the internet, people spoke to each other through phone calls, letters, or in person. These methods of communication were mainly private, meaning that nobody could listen to calls or eavesdrop on conversations. This privacy allowed people to exchange information, stories, and conversations freely. Virtually everyone uses some form of instant messaging to communicate today, and messaging has become an extension of personal space, much like diaries were in the past. Thus, when parents look at these messages, children could feel an invasion of privacy.

Perhaps parents feel the need to protect the online safety of their children from cyberbullying or predators, which is a valid concern. When there is suspicion that the child is engaging in questionable activity, parents could use their discernment to check their child’s messages. However, constant surveillance of a child’s messages out of pure worry and curiosity can severely damage the relationship between the parent and the child and destroy the trust within the relationship. This scrutiny could backfire, leading to the child becoming more secretive and better at lying to evade their parents’ gaze. 

Moreover, parents are responsible for preparing their children for adulthood. Once they do, parents lose custody, and they no longer are able to maintain a grip on their children’s lives. However, before checking their messages, parents should ask themselves: Would holding on to this sense of authority prepare the child for adulthood, or would it strip them of individuality and autonomy, weakening them in the face of a daunting world? 

Ultimately, balance is the key to maintaining a trusting relationship. Teenagers will undoubtedly be sent messages that they would prefer to keep private. Forcefully reading those messages with the mantra of “my child, my property” could eventually lead to distrust, resentment, and dishonesty. 

So, is it a breach of privacy? Yes and no. Respecting privacy does not mean ignoring potential risks—it implies having open communication and fostering mutual trust, and it does not always mean keeping secrets.